No doubt some of them have some grain of truth in them and yet, platitudes seldom give us what we are seeking — a sense of reassurance that the tide will turn in our favour at some point.
In 2017, India and Pakistan faced off at the finals of the Champions Trophy.
Any India -Pakistan contest is hyperbole to the power of infinity and this was no different. While India has become more consistent in their performances in the past few years, Pakistan is yet a team that is mercurial and India were the overwhelming favourites to win the finals.
Pakistan thoroughly annihilated India and turned the match into a no contest. Mohammad Amir blasted through the Indian line-up and reduced them to rubble and India lost the match by a mammoth 180 runs.
After the match, then coach Anil Kumble apparently gave the team a dressing down. This was also a time when the relationship between the Anil Kumble and captain Virat Kohli was almost beyond repair. This article explains the tense situation further:
‘The final nail in the coffin came on June 18 when Kumble screamed at the team after the drubbing against Pakistan. The players did not expect to be shouted at when they were already smarting from a crushing defeat.’
Soon after, Anil Kumble unceremoniously resigned from his post as coach of the Indian cricket team.
At some point in time, all of us have dealt in platitudes.
They usually come into play when we are smarting from failure, disappointment or defeat.
Anil Kumble shouting at the team was pointless. At the same time, people mouthing platitudes after a team has suffered a crushing defeat wouldn’t have helped much either.
Though platitudes have more of a negative connotation, they do come in handy from time to time. For a kid who has just lost a match, it is no use offering them strategies on how to win the next time. They are too young to comprehend all of that. They are just upset that they lost.
But over time, platitudes lose their relevance.
‘Failure is a stepping stone to success’
‘You will succeed’
‘Forget this and move on’
‘You will thank me later’
‘There is a deeper lesson in this’
We have all heard these or variations of these in our lives. No doubt some of them have some grain of truth in them and yet, platitudes seldom give us what we are seeking — a sense of reassurance that the tide will turn in our favour at some point.
After the dust has settled, what can help is a word of advice or some sort of action that can be taken to get back on one’s feet.
‘Why don’t you meet this person, they may be able to help you.’
‘Read this book/blog, it might have the answers that you’re looking for’
‘Try this program. It helped me. Do you want me to sign you up’?
‘Talk to this person. I’ve already told them about you.’
‘There’s nothing you can do now. Just take a break and we’ll discuss it when you’re in a better frame of mind.’
The difference between platitudes and suggestions or advice, however small, is that they give us something to work toward and look forward to.
In my most challenging times, there was no shortage of platitudes. But the thing I remember the most are the people who actually helped me and offered me workable solutions that moved me forward.
While it may not always be possible to offer a solution to someone grasping at straws, peppering that lacunae with platitudes isn’t the solution.
The smallest act of help will stand the test of time over unlimited platitudes.
‘
