We sometimes get confused about what to leave behind before moving ahead
When I was very young, my family and a relative’s family bought a house together and moved in. As I was still a kid, I only have vague memories of that time. At some point, some disagreements ensued and my parents decided to move out of that house. Later, my mother told me that when they decided to move out, my dad issued a diktat that we would not take anything that we bought in that house. Maybe it was his way of leaving behind a part of our lives that he would never recollect fondly or he didn’t want to be reminded of that part as we moved forward.
So when we moved homes, all we took was a double bed, a single cot, and a fridge. All the cooking powders were kept in covers as we didn’t take any of the steel dabbas. There were no chairs so we sat on the ground and ate. If guests came they got the bed and we slept on the floor. But my memory of those times, even as hazy as they are, are mostly happy. I don’t think we ever felt a major lack of anything. In a couple of years, we bought chairs, a table, a colour TV, got back on our feet and built a new life.
When I was reminiscing about this with my mother, I realized that we sometimes get confused about what to leave behind before moving ahead. The only way we got through that challenging part of our lives is because of the understanding between my parents. None of what we left behind had any bearing on our ability to rebuild and begin a new life.
A lot of things that we are carrying around with us — grudges, disillusionment, rusted anger and regrets, most of them don’t really have a bearing on the future. If my parents had spent the next few years ruminating over what had happened, I am sure the atmosphere at home would not have been very nice and it would have taken longer for us to move ahead.
When packing and moving ahead, it helps to stop and figure out all that you can leave behind.
Many times, they aren’t as important as we think they are.
